“Hi pink lips”. I received a number of twenty messages with the same content. I don’t know what to feel, to be proud because I had the courage to write about myself or to be shy because of that damn university diary I wrote. It was my first time to write that article for the weekly publication. I was encouraged by my editors to write for my ewee love story when we had our snack at the canteen before having the weekly meeting.
As I was writing, I was able to recall those pitiable memories that I had and the stupidity I posses. I cannot blame myself to feel that way since I believe that in order for you to feel the ecstasy of true love; you have to cry and to sacrifice. And at that time, I thought I am doing the right thing, but sad to say, I was not.But thank to the Lord for giving me the light that made me moved on. Thanks also God for the sufficient wisdom He bestowed into me and I was able to write that thing. And thank also to Rolyn for the editing she had that make my article more emphasizing and for her suggestion of my pen name. And thanks to TN for publishing it.
After reading my published news articles and the university diary, it made me realize how powerful and in demand The Norsunian our paper is. Because at that very short time after our circulation manager put the paper in front of the gate, plenty are texting me about my U.D. And it made me wonder why they are doing that way. Or this is just my first time to experienced this things because this is my first time to write for the u.d.
Anyways, what I did is just doing what is written at the bottom part of the features’ page, “Unleash your momentous experiences in life as student and share with us!” Doing such thing, I find writing interesting. Some said it’s hard to write but for me, writing is just an expression of your feelings. But it’s much better if you write that you know that there is an editor whom will enhance your piece and corrects your grammar…..right? :-)
Thursday, July 7, 2011 4 Comments
The first time I saw him dance was stupefaction. The second time I glanced at him was attraction. And the third time I set eyes on him was love.
I have to admit that I have a talent in Cosmetics. To enhance such ability, I volunteered to be the make-up artist of our college during last year’s Mr. and Ms. NORSU pageant. As an additional help to the college, I hired a trainer for the talent presentation of our candidates. I just knew I picked the right person for the job.
I met him long before the pageant, and as I saw him dance with his striking moves for the first time, I knew that something deep inside me dictated that he might be the one. We went along our practice for several days and everyday with him was a perfect day. I would always attend rehearsals though I was not required to go just to make sure that I won’t miss a day not seeing him. I covered his faults when he did mistakes. I even reached to a point where I suffered the mistakes I did not make. But I was not remorseful of what I did for him. I became willing so the more to sacrifice for the sake of love.
Then, a realization came. I cannot afford to have more sleepless nights and pimples. I really have to tell him what I felt for him though it might mean the end of our established friendship. That moment was awkward but I finally said that I have a special feeling for him. It was never easy to do that but my love and the desire to have him motivated me well. However, he gave no reply to what I opened up. According to him, he respected what I felt but he did not know what to answer. His respect for me was not enough.
I was not shy to tell him that I like him very much. I even made efforts of making him closer to me. I befriended each of his friends and tried to make them my own friends. I attended night-outs with them even if I don’t have enough money already. I set my projects and exams aside just to be with him. Sometimes, he would reject my phone calls. But even that did not stop me.
From time to time, I slowly found out that there were barriers to winning him. First was that we have the same surname. Second was the fact that we both belong to that so-called “third gender.” Some say that he is a bisexual but they also said that he has more girly traits than I.
There, I finally realized that I won’t be bitter and fill myself with hatred when the one I chose to love did not choose me. I asked, listened, and then let go. I won’t force myself to understand when I can't, to fight when obviously it’s over and to play deaf to the nagging truth that what I've done did not work and won't work anymore. Instead, I said that I have loved him more than he’d think I would but I feel sorry that he lost his chance to be loved more than he would ever feel for the rest of his existence.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011 Leave a comment
In order for us not to feel like an outcast, the unlovable and the unloved, we must show to them what we’ve really got!
Make-up has always been part of my life. As a source of income and most especially a passion that I think will lead me in reaching my ambitions in life. When I was in elementary, I used to make my colored pencils as eyeliner because I thought that it is the one used by famous image stylist. There were also times that I used my red ballpen in making the lips red of the celebrity picture in one of my notebooks. Later on, I am starting to discover new things about make-up, its brands, how is it going to be used, and the magic it brings in transforming you into a new you. But before that, I still experienced plenty of trials before becoming a full- grown make-up artist. First and foremost, my father does not want me to be a gay and it could not be denied that most make-up artist is gays. So with that, I am not allowed to befriend gays that knows how to make-up, watch magazines and instructional materials, and to invest make-up in order for me to have a wider knowledge on that field. But those did not stop me, I still did what my father did not want me to do but in a secret way. In my high school years, I was able to study a school which is quiet far from my house and that gives me an opportunity to escape from my father's fence. When I am riding pedicap from our house to school, I am putting on my secretly invested make-up in my face, and when I am going back, I am erasing them all, that is my daily routine, and my father didn’t know about that. Time passes by and I am still doing that practice. My neigh boors told my father that I am doing that way but my reasoning skills still prevail.
Then Sinulog 2009 came, I submit myself to screening. Luckily, I was qualified. At first, my father did not want me to join but still, my reasoning power passports me to join. And that was the start of my FREEDOM, Tita Maika, our choreographer, one of the famous make-up artist in the province, my friend, patiently teach me on how to correctly put make-up in different styles and strokes fitted for a particular occasions such as camera secret make-up, stage make-up, trend make-up, wedding make-up, avant-garde make-up and more. He also brought me to his "rakets" making me more exposed to make up and at the same time gives me earnings. Because of that, it made my father and my family realized the bright side of being a gay, it made them realized that we can earn money in effortless way by just doing what we want and what we love, and that is because of our talent, intelligence, and creativity. By that time, they begin to accept me of what I am, support me of what I want, and love me for what I want to be. But the most important I gain from them is the trust. That is why until now, I am very careful not to break the trust they give to me by uplifting the gays in the eyes of them, showing them that we are not an outcast in the society but an asset worth to be proud of. As of now, I am enjoying my make-up career with their support but my priority is still my studies because I do believe that education is the greatest weapon I can bring in the journey of life. Moreover, I do believe that make up and rakets can be learned just by yourself but education needs teachers whom will mold and teach you in your chosen profession.
Sunday, July 3, 2011 2 Comments
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