I think I am in love
Tick! Tack!!! Time check! It’s already 1 am while I make this blog because I can’t sleep thinking of someone. I hurriedly pulled out the laptop of my roommate and start typing...
These past days, I noticed something deep within me. A special feeling I seldom feel to a person, a feeling that all of us can feel, more satisfying compared after our large intestine relax and contracts-to be in loved.
First time I knew him; he is very silent and doesn’t mind any people around him. But when we talk, I said to myself, “Okay raman diay siya, abi nkog hambog.” Later on, we used to talk, we laugh, and we kill each other through jokes. With those moments we have together, I was not expecting that those will lead to something very special-being in love.
I experienced this for how many times as the fact that I’m still fresh from it. And one of those lessons I learned are not to confess your feelings and do not expect too much. But one problem is that I have an attitude that I cannot keep feelings in myself causing me to tell it to someone. Thanks God, “usa ragud ang nakabalo.”
Then everything started, I am starting to do what desperate lovers usually did. Staring at him when he’s not looking at me, sige ug papansin bisag OA na mausahay, affected sa mga text message ug napuno ug smileys ang mga message ,and gikilig nga siya ray kabalo. How stupid but sometimes stupidity makes people happy.
He is single but I think, there is one who is attracted to him. A girl na wala akong kalaban-laban kaya ayaw ko nalang makipag- laban. It is okay, I have a nice and straight legs compared to her, and aside from that I am more confident to smile than her. heheheh..Im so bad...
But as what I’ve said, do not expect too much. If we are meant together, then no matter what happen,maging kami talaga. But if it’s not, then maybe somebody more deserving to us will takes place, right?
But gosh! How many times people disregard of their sexual status broke my heart? Am I hard to love? Am I that ugly? What will I do? I did my best for me to be nicer.
If true love can wait...How long it will be? How long will I suffer the feeling of being an outcast, the unlovable and the unloved? How long will I’ll be alone in the world. I cannot wait. I am now physically and emotionally ready...I want him to be the recipient of my love, care and affection.
I hope that in one of his dreams, he will realize that I am just here at the side walk, waiting for him, and ready to walk life together with him. I am very loving as a lover to the extent of giving 100% of my life to him. I am very caring, I care very much more than to myself.
I always laugh to people but they just don’t know that behind those laughter, giving up is already next in line.
Hope I can make another emo blog.....
Monday, August 15, 2011
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